NO MORE BYE WEEKS!
VERY NICE! I LIKE!
Even Borat knows that week 11 is the best week in the season. The bye weeks are over so that means every team will play every week. Therefore not fucking you over if you forget to set your lineup and the one guy you needed was on a bye.
If this column’s a little late I apologize because I’ve been playing Assassin’s Creed II nonstop for the past two days. If you like wasting historical figures and free running then drop the 60 bones and get this game. Now on to the important stuff:
QBs
Start:
Kurt Warner (@STL): Warner’s going back to place where he was the ringleader of the Greatest Show on Turf. The Rams are terrible this year so he’ll have a huge game in his peudo-homecoming
Matthew Stafford (@DET): What else are you gonna watch at 1:00? But I think that the offense isn’t the problem with the Lions. Stafford’s looked “good” for a rookie and if he can find Calvin Johnson a few times then this game will be worth watching
David Garrard (@BUF): The Bills just canned their crypt keeper coach, Dick Jauron, so they’re obviously playing for their draft pick.
Ben Roethlisberger (@KC): Let’s be serious, Big Ben better have a huge day against the Chiefs. If he doesn’t then he’s going on everyone’s bench for the rest of the year.
Sit:
Tony Romo (@WAS): I know the Redskins are a mess but their defense is ranked number two in the league. I don’t know who’s making plays but somebody is and it’s showing.
Matt Schaub (@TEN): The Titans are out of their tailspin and are playing like they should be. They have their captain Cortland Finnegan back starting so I think Schaub will have a rough day
Joe Flacco (@IND): Indy didn’t look like the stellar defense they are against the Pats last week because it’s Tom Brady. Flacco is no Brady so Indy’s D will have a big day
Josh Freeman (@NO): He’s done well in fill in duty so far but I think he’ll play like a rookie against a real tough Saints defense.
RBs
Start:
Adrian Peterson (@SEA): This is a no-brainer. Like Nike, Just Do It
Maurice Jones-Drew (@BUF): Yeah I know he fucked like 10,000 people last week when he took a knee but he still had a huge day otherwise. Start him, he’ll still get you like 20 points
Chris Johnson (@HOU): I don’t know if any else saw what he did not only last week but last time he played the Texans, he put up close to 50 fantasy points each time. Yeah he’s a keeper.
Laurence Maroney (@NYJ): The Jets haven’t looked like they did in weeks 1-3. I can’t explain it but they’ve been sucking for the past 6 weeks so Maroney will break out
Sit:
Julius Jones (@MIN): FOX had a contest to come up with stupid nicknames for the Vikes’ D Line. I don’t remember any of them but I do know how good they are and they’ll shut down the run
Knowshon Moreno (@SD): The Chargers have finally figured out how to play defense finally. This isn’t good for rookie running backs like Moreno
Matt Forte (@PHI): Forte hasn’t been producing the way owners had hoped. Philly is always a tough defense
Ladell Betts (@DAL): Even though Dallas lost last week, the defense still held Ryan Grant to only 79 yards. Betts won’t get that many yards on the ground.
WRs
Start:
Reggie Wayne (@BAL): Wayne had the nail in the coffin against the Pats last week. Look for him to do the same against the Ravens this week
Sidney Rice (@SEA): Rice had 200 yards through the air last week, and I fucking left him on the bench. Awesome. But Rice has found his stride with Favre so he’ll get more looks when the defense sets up to stop the run
Calvin Johnson (@CLE): Doesn’t matter who’s throwing the ball, he catches touchdowns. Start him
Randy Moss (@NYJ): I know Darrelle Revis shut him down the last time these two played but Brady has gotten used to the speed of the game after missing a year. He’s looking close to his 2007 form as the season goes on.
Sit:
Michael Crabtree (@GB): The Packers have a bunch of dreadlocked freaks in the secondary who can play. Though Crabtree has the height advantage, these guys always seem to find the ball whenever it’s thrown up
Brandon Marshall (@SD): The last time Chris Simms saw serious playing time, his spleen was exploding inside his body. He still looks really rusty after coming in for Orton last week. This means Marshall won’t get his normal targets
Louis Murphy (@CIN): The Bengals are FOR REAL. Especially on defense. Murphy is the only receiver that the Raiders have that I can name so don’t start him
Devin Hester (@PHI): The Eagles no doubt game planned for him even though he hasn’t made a lot of catches this year. They know the danger he presents when he gets the ball in space.
D/ST
Start:
Pittsburgh Steelers (@KC): The Chiefs just got rid of their best offensive player (Sorry Cassel), so they won’t pose much of a threat to the Steelers
Minnesota Vikings (@SEA): Let Jared Allen run wild and watch the turnovers pile up
New England Patriots (@NYJ): The Patriots will NOT let the Jets beat them again. I think the defense will step their game up after 4th downgate last week.
Cincinnati Bengals (@OAK): The Cable Guy decided to bench fat boy JaMarcus Russell for Bruce Gradkowski. Yeah I know, who? I think the Bengals will feast on this guy’s inexperience
Sit:
San Francisco 49ers (@GB): They had a bunch of picks against Cutler last Thursday but Aaron Rodgers is a better QB than Cutler will ever be.
Baltimore Ravens (@IND): I know Ray Lewis found the fountain of youth for this season but I don’t wanna bet against Peyton Manning in this one
Houston Texans (@TEN): Chris Johnson is single-handedly carrying this team. I should know, I have him on my fantasy team. With Vince Young playing well too, this Titans team will be tough to stop
Denver Broncos (@SD): The Chargers offense has been clicking for the past few weeks. Also the defense hasn’t been as tough as it was for the first six weeks of the year
Waiver Wire:
Chris Chambers (WR, Kansas City Chiefs)(@PIT): No Dwayne Bowe mean Chambers will finally get some targets
Bernard Scott (RB, Cincinnati Bengals)(@OAK): Benson will be out and I don’t think Larry Johnson will be ready for this game so Scott should get the majority of the carries.
That’s all I got. Leave it in the comments. Later kids!